Happy almost 2016 friends! I hope this last day of 2015 is treating you well and I hope you had wonderful, relaxing and gratifying Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan and/or winter solstice!
I’d like to touch on New Year’s for a moment, if I may. Unlike much of America, I am fairly indifferent to New Year’s. It’s fun and all sure, but the celebration part of it doesn’t excite me. I am, however, interested in the clean slate, fresh start aspect of a new year. Now I am not one of those people who operates on the “new year, new me” idea. (I also don’t put it down- if a new year is what it takes to get you going on the path you desire for your life, you go girl (or boy)!)
I’m a big fan of resolutions and I make them constantly. My resolution for 2016 is to remind myself of these resolutions, since half of the time they end up lost within the pages of my journal. I like the idea of starting a new challenge that will help me be a more fulfilled, happier, healthier, peaceful human being.
I’m a big fan of these resolutions, these low-stakes pacts I make to myself. I can’t make promises to myself because I can’t let myself feel bad about breaking them. It would be toxic for me and I understand that. I am a habit person, which is how I got myself into this whole eating disorder situation to begin with. I’m scared that if I allow myself to make habits of too many of these things, it will somehow detrimental to my mental health so I take them lightly. Still, they’re good thing to think of if only to provide myself with better ideas of who I’m trying to be and who I want to be.
There are a lot of these resolutions I make to myself, whether very big or very small and certainly everything in between. Here is a small sampling: cooking one new recipe per week. Going to as many political events as possible. Meditating. Brewing my own kombucha. Embracing the fermentation process and creating my own fermented goods. Eating a “real” dinner everyday. Making my own soaps and other household products. More yoga. Getting my writing published (and paid for) in some manner. Not becoming victim to my habit-following self (kind of an oxymoron of a resolution). Trying to engage my “artistic” side (questionable as to whether or not this side exists). Finding an efficient way to save my favorite quotes and passages from books, besides simply folding down the corners of the page. To get this blog to reach a wider audience. To use my electronic devices less.
The list goes on and on. I’ve been victorious in some manners and unsuccessful in others. Whether I do it or not is not the point for me- the point is to provide a sort of direction, a guide to where I want to go in my life. A sort of navigation tool for bettering myself and becoming the person I strive to be. If that makes sense to you, I encourage you to embark on these little mini-resolutions as you see fit. If I’m sounding like a crazy person, well, what else is new?
Lastly, as a personal reflection and an assignment for others, I’m going to reflect on some of the positive things I’ve done this year in hopes that you will do the same! So here are some things that happened in no particular order.
I started this blog.
I graduated college.
I gained a stronger and more fact-based political voice.
I moved to New Hampshire.
I fell in love with New Hampshire.
I started a dietetic internship.
I told my friends, family and internet world that I have (had?) anorexia.
I began the eating disorder recovery process.
I learned to look in the mirror and not hate what I see (a much bigger accomplishment than any physical change).
I battled anxiety and depression nearly everyday (if not everyday).
I learned what feeling proud of yourself feels like.
I lost a couple friends who I never imagined falling away from.
I gained some friends that make my life a little bit more enjoyable (waddup UNH dietetic interns?!)
I learned that friendships are fluid.
I realized that I will never in my life have better friends that my parents.
I learned how to lay in bed at night and not count calories, over and over and over again, in my head.
I fell a little more in love with my boyfriend (he would shake his head if he knew I was writing so sappily about him).
I learned how to recognize and avoid malicious gossip that I don’t want to be associated with.
Similarly, I learned how to recognize and avoid futile complaints and accusations against others.
I signed up for emails from organizations and campaigns I really care about and unsubscribed from frivolous sites and online stores.
I learned the kind of jobs that I want and the kind of jobs that I don’t want.
I gained two extremely supportive and helpful mentors.
I got a new (awesome) therapist.
I tried my best to embrace life and learn about the world…most days (some days this was too big a task).
2015 was good to me and I’m looking forward to all 2016 has to offer, from the big to the small. I hope you all take the time to consider both the past year and all the new year has in store and I hope none of you take your resolutions too seriously! Wishing you all a happy, happy 2016 and happy celebrations as you ring it in!